I had several opportunities- in an abandoned hallway after school, under the deck at our summer home, on a chairlift heading up a mountain. But every time I felt the moment start to swell; hear our voices go soft and see his head tilt toward mine; I'd spot something interesting to point out behind him or find myself suddenly overcome with the need to tell him a story about the time the boat sank, and the moment would be lost.
The truth was, I was scared. I'd waited just long enough where everyone around me had mastered the art of kissing, or at least did it once, and I feared that my inexperience would be met with endless ridicule.
Luckily, my best friend was a boy named Eli. I know what you are thinking: he did the noble thing and gave you your first kiss, just so you'd know how to do it upon entering your Freshman year of college! But we had come to that fork years before and decided that we just weren't right for eachother and a kiss, even a pity kiss, would hurt our friendship.
What he did instead was to describe, in 5 simple steps, how one kisses another:
1. Relax 2. Keep your eyes shut 3. No in and out 4. Do the alphabet 5. Two key areas- roof of mouth and bottom teeth. - May 1, 2004
Of course, I wrote these steps down after he'd gone, because I had some pride. Besides:
He jokingly said I'd probably write them all down. Which I did. But more because it was just funny.Sure. That's why.
Although knowing me I'll drag this out in 5 years when I get my first kiss and review the steps. Or I'll compare my performance and track my progress.There's the truth.
I wish my life was more romantic.Don't we all.
Well, I would get that first kiss, and I wouldn't have to wait 5 years to get it. And for all of my late blooming and romance desiring, I'm proud to say that I didn't just let that first kiss be an ordinary one, and I daresay Fate had her hand in the matter.
It happened the fall of my sophomore year of college. I'd been crushing on this boy Tim since we met at the beginning of the semester through a group of girls that lived a floor below me. Coming back from a party, we all piled into the same elevator, the mutual friends giggling at seeing us together. He had been crushing on me, too, it seemed. The girls and a few strangers got off the elevator on the 4th floor, leaving Tim and me to ascend, alone, to the 5th.
And then it happened.
Between the 4th and 5th, an alarm went off in the building and the elevator stopped, and sunk to the ground floor. We stared at each other for a moment, not sure what to do. We had not yet expressed our feelings for one another, and here we were, sitting in a broken elevator, alarms going off around us, and it very well could be the last moments of our life. "Typical," I thought. "I would die before having my first kiss."
We sat on the floor waiting for a rescue, leaning against opposite walls of course, our legs dangerously close to each other. We talked little and tried to breath lightly so as to conserve what oxygen we had left, but our hearts raced at the closeness of our quarters, and we sucked the air in quickly.
Finally, the air thinning, Tim came clean. "I have a confession," he said. My heart beat faster. "I have a crush on you." My mind pulled at the phrases I had only heard but never spoken to anyone, searching for the right thing to say in return. You had me at hello. I'm also just a girl in front of a boy, asking him to love her. We'll always have Paris. I'll never let go! Instead I just said breathlessly, "Oh?"
Then he shuffled over to my wall of the elevator, put his arm around my shoulders and said, "Can I kiss you?" Seeing as there was nothing of interest to point out behind him, and given that I'd already told him the story of the time the boat sank, I just said, "Okay." And right inside a broken down elevator, it happened. I relaxed, closed my eyes, and did the alphabet; careful not to go in and out, and making sure that the top and bottom of my letters hit the roof of his mouth and the bottom of his teeth.
We were interrupted by a fireman yelling "You guys okay in there?" and responded simultaneously with a nothin-going-on-in-here, "Yeah!"
"We'll getcha right out!" he replied.
After he pried the door open, we walked outside into the cool midnight air, and were met with a crowd of cheering students who had been evacuated from the building for what turned out to be dust in the fire alarm. Upon seeing our bashful smiles and the incriminating redness of our lips, the cheers turned to hoots and high-fives, and the crowd parted to let through a couple of glowing lovebirds who "totally just made out in the elevator."
And we totally had.